“Woah! Hey there, soldiers! Welcome to Captain Unknown Soldier’s Scary Movie Show right here on Tara Normal.com! Every Friday we’ll be showing a scary movie from the mass collection of horror and sci-fi films I’ve collected over the years in my many missions to protect this great nation from super villainy. First up is the classic Night of the Living Dead, directed by George A. Romero.
And since Tara is currently in zombie-filled Evans City, PA what better film to start off with than this 1968 masterpiece which takes place there! In the beginning of the movie, you’ll meet Johnny. We here at the Scary Movie Show have always had a huge respect for Johnny, despite his hideous fighting skills against the undead. He wears leather driving gloves though and that counts for something in our book. Now sit back, grab some popcorn and soda (or straight whiskey), and watch the zombie film that started it all: Night of the Living Dead!”
“That ending gets me every time! I’ve fought against zombies before and lemme tell ya’, they might be lumbering undead idiots, but you can’t underestimate them. One minute you’re putting your cigar out in one of their caked over eye holes and the next you’re surrounded by a whole swarm of those flesh eating monsters. Just because one of them used to be your best friend doesn’t mean he’s still your buddy once he’s turned into a zombie. Or even if you just think he’s a zombie because he yawned. There’s no yawning in war, kids!
That’ll do it for this week’s show! Next week we’re showing the classic House on Haunted Hill starring the brilliant Vincent Price. Until then, keep your semi-automatic machine gun loaded with ammo and keep your heart filled with contempt for evil-doers!”