Scary Movies: Gremlins-An Awesome Christmas Movie
December 10th, 2010
Thank God they poked some air holes in the box.
Released in 1984, Gremlins tells the tale of an earnest inventor who wants to buy his white man fro’d kid Billy a present that no one else has. What better gift to get an accident prone, careless teenager than a strange creature with a ridiculous set of rules to abide by or he transforms into a hideous, murdering monster?
Mogwais are like pugs except you can get them wet. Or expose them to sunlight. Or feed them after midnight. Do they drink? I don’t know. How would a slight mist on a Monday morning affect them? Not really sure. What if you sneeze on them?
If you get them wet, they will procreate ON THEIR OWN. Little mogwai puffballs will pop out of their backs. Now, if you own a nice Mogwai like the star of Gremlins, Gizmo, then the puffballs will be pure evil. If your mogwai is already evil, then your puffballs will be also evil.
Gizmo may be the last good Mogwai left on Earth. Unfortunately he lands in Billy’s care and Billy is friends with Corey Feldman.
The Feldmeister drops a whole friggin’ glass of aqua on Gizmo causing him to procreate some evil Mogwais. The evil Mogwais conspire to rig Billy’s clock so it reads before Midnight so they can get their KFC on. If Mogwais eat after midnight, they enter a cocoon stage and transform into amazing lizard-like creatures who are cute in their own right. And in the sequel, even HOT!
Yada, yada, yada…Long Island is almost burnt to the ground by Gremlins.
The whole thing takes place right before Christmas and it really gets the spirit of the holidays going around the Noel household. So do yourself a favor and watch Gremilins. You’ll thank me when the Santa story is told by Phoebe Cates. You’ll never think of a chimney in the same way.
You can get a copy of Gremlins here:
